“Hear Me Out Cakes”: A Revelation of Delusional Crushes

Although Autumn is still pretty relevant, Winter is only a couple of weeks away! At this time, many like to enjoy the chilly season by hanging out with friends and family, or even staying in bed while picking up a nice book or show to binge. In any good book, show or movie, there always needs to be an element that appeals to the audience. This could come in many forms, one of which being a variety of likable characters. Characters who have good morals, charisma, etc. are typically liked by the fandom, but the same can also be said for characters who play the roles of antagonists. That being said, this attraction to these characters sometimes goes beyond just “liking” them, but rather swooning completely over them. Forgive me for saying this, but many people in this day and age “simp” for these characters, in which they would go to very high extents for them, regardless of whether or not the character is fictional or real.

In recent social media, this form of infatuation has really been made obvious in a trend known as “Hear Me Out Cakes” which is commonly done by a group of friends. The “cake” part of this trend is pretty literal as there is indeed a cake sitting in front of them. In addition each person would prepare a set of characters from shows or movies that they will put on the cake. Everyone goes around in a circle saying “Hear me out!”, then revealing their character, placing it on the cake, and ultimately repeating the process. Sounds pretty straightforward and basic right? But where this trend gets its popularity lies in the fact that these characters are controversial crushes that the individual has. Ranging from characters who are known for their attractiveness, to others who are…very noticeably less attractive, sometimes it goes beyond fiction and into real life figures. In fact, there was a case where someone included their friend’s dad as one of their crushes. Sure, your friend may see the vision if it was someone else's dad, but your friend, who is standing right next to you, would definitely not be in support of this opinion. It doesn’t just stop there however, as these crushes go beyond human characters. We’re talking animals, typically humanoid to an extent, but also animals that act like their real world counterparts. And it just gets worse as even objects are not safe from being placed onto these cakes; basically anything that speaks, moves, or even acts human is up for grabs.

Clearly, certain individuals have…unique tastes, or perhaps their tastes are too refined for others to understand, but a question still remains: Why? If we are all human beings, what makes some of us attracted to these characters to such an extent, and others not? Well, as mentioned, everyone has their types and not everyone needs to be attracted to a certain someone, or thing. But aren’t these crushes going a bit too far? Indeed, they certainly are, and the underlying cause is simple: Delusion. (If you don’t think so, it’s probably because you’re delusional yourself). From a young age, many of us were taught about “love”, which ultimately causes you to want it as we find the concept of being in love to be appealing. That being said, not everybody yearns for such a feeling, and although you may want it, love is not easy to find for some which leads to desperation. And as we grow older, we get more desperate which isn’t exactly a good thing. For some, this could be seen as taking anything, and everything, as a sign that someone likes you. For others…it would appear that their delusion has the head over heels for characters trapped in a screen. As the saying goes, our mind controls our emotions, but our emotions also control our minds. Wrong: turns out delusion is the real controller after all.

Now you may be thinking: “This doesn’t affect me, I have nothing to worry about”. But can you really stay calm when your friends may be inflicted with delusion? Try it out: gather your friends together and tell them about the gist of “Hear Me Out Cakes”. After you all laugh and question the strange attractions you all feel, see for yourself whether you are all sane or not.

(In all, if your controversial crush is something seen as “crazy” by others, for instance, Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast, you do you...although the other people may be right. This article is satire)