How to Get a Prom Date

As you may know, prom is coming around the corner in May, and many of you guys have a special someone in mind. However, I know a lot of you guys are really single and won’t get a yes to prom. So, take this advice from a pro (I asked out 27 girls for prom). 

So first, you need to get your crush to like you. Two weeks before prom, you need to completely change your personality. Make sure you act really nonchalant any time you’re near your crush. This makes you the alpha wolf to them. But you also need to make sure you act nervous around your crush too. For example, anytime you and your crush hang out, make sure you give them a little shy glance and twiddle your fingers like this: 👉👈😳. However, the most important thing you need to do is to act insecure. I need you guys to say in class, “I’m soooooooooo ugly!” or “I’m tooooooooo shy!” to make your crush feel like they need to protect you. I guarantee that doing this will make your crush fall in love with you super quickly.

Now that you have made your crush obsessed with you, it’s time to plan your promposal. The best promposals are when the entire school gathers around to watch you propose, so make sure you announce in the speakers that your promposal is happening (you should do this when your crush isn’t hearing). Also, the best time and place to propose is when your crush leaves the bathroom. There’s no way to describe the feelings your crush will get when they leave the bathroom and see the entire school watching them. Also, some people may say that you should practice what you’re gonna do during your promposal, but you should NEVER do this. It’s better to do what your heart says at the moment. By doing this, your proposal will be extremely well-prepared.

Now, it’s time to do your promposal. This is the part where many of you get rejected, but follow this advice and they will say yes. Imagine your crush leaving the bathroom and seeing you and the entire school; what will they expect? You need to grab their attention. The best way to do this is by hitting the griddy and doing a dance. Now, I know this is hard to do, so if your crush is unimpressed, then stop dancing suddenly and ask them nonchalantly and in a deep voice “soooo what if you go to the prom with me lol. It'll be so lit aha ha.” If they still say no, then you have to do this part super carefully, it is your last chance before you look stupid: get down on your knees, clasp your hands like you are praying, and bow your head to them and say “PLEEEEASE go to prom with me! I beg you please! I will do anything for this. I know I’m reeeeally reeeeally ugly but please give me a chance! I will do anything to be with you! Just please say yes! Please, pretty please!” Make sure to stay completely still so you don’t seem desperate. If they still say no, then I’m sorry, accept the L, and move on.

Now, I know that some of you may be doubting my advice. You may have heard advice from friends or family that is opposite to what I’m saying, but have they asked 27 girls to prom? Nope. Listen, I know what I’m talking about because I have tried to get a prom date multiple times. So, follow my advice to succeed.